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40 days by the wall click here to read about it

I was ready to write my friend off as dead. I decided to pray for her instead.

BY Ayelet From Aish.com 

My relationships far exceed merely the person whom I befriend. When I get to know someone, generally I become a part of their extended family as well. So my friendship with Shaindy is no exception.

The mother of one of my best friends, Shaindy was once a talent manager who loved to travel and spend nights out on the town listening to good music. A woman who dresses with flair and style, Shaindy is a spunky little woman with a big personality.

Several months ago, I got a call telling me that Shaindy had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Things didn't look good for this 60-something woman who had been smoking two packs a day for the past 45 years.

When I spoke to her on the phone, Shaindy sounded weak and lifeless. I could barely understand her very hoarse voice. I felt helpless, unable to assist a friend in her final moments. There was nothing I could do for her from over 5,000 miles away. I didn't have the funds to send her things to ease her suffering, nor at the time was I able to travel to see her. I couldn't take her to doctors or sit by her bedside. My guilt was immense, as I realized that this would be the last time I would ever speak to the friend I had known and loved for so many years.

Shaindy told me to go kiss the Western Wall for her.

Shaindy told me to go kiss the Western Wall for her, and then we said our good-byes. I felt sad at end of our friendship, and with a heavy heart, I went to go fulfill Shaindy's last request of me.

I then set out to find a way to get the Mourner's Kaddish prayer said for her, since she had no one in her family who would do it on her behalf. Having the Kaddish said -- three times daily in a minyan -- helps to ease the deceased person's transition into the next world. If no family member can fulfill the duty, another may be appointed to say it instead.

I found a friend of mine, Darryl, who would be able to say the Kaddish prayers, and we began to make the arrangements. Suddenly Darryl turned to me angrily and said, "Wait a minute! Why are we planning Kaddish for a woman who is alive?! Go and pray 40 days for her instead!" And with that, he walked away.

Forty Plus Forty

The "40 days" is a known Jewish mystical tradition, whereby a person performs a specific mitzvah -- such as praying at the Western Wall, or refraining from gossip, or learning portions of Torah -- every day for 40 days straight.

Although the person doing the 40 days gets merit for their efforts, the spiritual ramifications can end up benefiting a multitude of people, including the one who inspired it, and sometimes even family members and communities.

I realized that Darryl was right. Rather than planning Shaindy's death, why was I not planning her life?

I began my 40 days for Shaindy, and each week I'd call to see how she was doing. To my surprise, the first 40 days went by and Shaindy was hanging in there, sometimes even feeling better. So I figured, why not? I did another 40 days, and Shaindy's condition was actually improving dramatically.

Then another 40 days, and another...

Perhaps I should have had more faith in my own prayers, and trust in God that He's out there listening, but each time I sat incredulously, glued to the phone, as Shaindy sounded better and better. The truth is, I expected to one day hear the dreaded news I was anticipating would surely come. But it never happened. Shaindy was recovering, and her diagnosis was no longer the grim report it had once been. Now we were operating on a basis of hope, rather than fear. But even I, who thinks of myself as a having an abundance of faith in God, was shocked by this dramatic turn of events.

Sometimes I find myself praying, whether I use a traditional prayer book or my own words, and although I feel a connection to God and I know that He is listening, I wonder if I can really make a difference.

Imagining the Impossible

In Hebrew, the word for prayer is L'heet'pallel. One source of the word comes from the biblical story of the reunion of Jacob and Joseph. After 22 years of separation, Jacob sees his son Joseph, whom he believed to have passed away. Jacob says that he never imagined -- "pallal" -- that he would see Joseph alive again.

Through prayer, I can imagine myself taking the energy of our righteousness ancestors, and the strength within me through Torah, and build my character traits. I can believe that I can become a person who can forgive, who can give the benefit of the doubt to others. I can imagine myself as the best me I can be.

So how does all of this imagining change anything in reality?

I envision myself becoming a person who I want to become, and I say the words of prayer to begin placing my process into action. This not only affects my world and my life, but the lives of those around me.

When I trust in myself and in God, then anything is possible.

When I trust in myself and in God that it's possible for me to elevate my life to the next level, I can believe that anything is possible. Anything, including the healing of a very sick friend.

I spoke to Shaindy recently, and it was easy to understand her this time. Her voice is now strong and full of life. She laughed as she told me that her doctor called her a miracle patient. The growth he had found seemed to have suddenly disappeared, with no explanation. She has her old spunk and energy back, and can go out and listen to her favorite music -- something that would have seemed impossible only a few months ago.

And every time I see Darryl, I'm sure to give him an update on Shaindy. I am no longer planning anything but her life.

Sukkos: The Festival of Joy

If you would like to know 
What is a Sukah?click here
How to make a Sukah?click here
What foods Mandate a Sukah?click here 
The Four species?click here

!!!!!TISHREI-SUKKOS!!!!

(as seen from Succos Secrets Rabbi David Meisels)

The power of Simcha:

A chasid once traveled to Lublin to spend the yamim noraim with the Chozeh of Lublin.  When it was his turn to introduce himself, he was shocked when the Chozeh told him to go home right away.  Thinking that he misunderstood, the chasid presented himself the next day. 

"What?  You're still here," the Rebbi exclaimed, "I told you to go home."  Deeply dejected, the chasid set out on his journey home.   On the way, he stopped at an inn to spend the night.  There he met a group of Chasidim traveling to the Chozeh.   After a few rounds of l'chaim, the Chasidim started to dance, drawing the chasid into their circle.  Round and round they went, joyfully singing Hashem's praises.  Gradually, the chasid's gloom turned into simcha.  At the height of their estacy, the Chasidim turned to him, "Come on back with us to the Rebbi."  The chasid decided to give it another try.  Perhaps the Chozeh would welcome him this time.  To his great surprise, the Chozeh was delighted to see him, embracing him warmly, the Chozeh declared, "A Rebbi cannot accomplish the miracles Chasidim achieve through simcha.  He went on to explain, "When you came to me the first time, I saw Heaven had decreed that you will die shortly.  I sent you home because I did not want you to die here on yom tov, but because of your simcha, you caused the Heavenly decree to be annulled," and indeed the chasid lived until a ripe, old age.

The Skulener said, "This story represents the underlying story of Simchas Torah.  After our intense prayers of the yamim noraim and after the decree was sealed, we dance on Simchas Torah, for even if the decree was not favorable, it is possible to reverse it and change it into goodness and blessing through the power of simcha."

 

 

 

I thank my chaver Ben Olam Habah please check him out at www.HalachaForToday.com and join his daily halacha.

כל השונה הלכות בכל יום מובטח לו שהוא בן עולם הבא 

Our holy sages, the Chazal, teach us that one who studies  Halachos daily is assured  a portion in Olam Haba, the world to come. (Talmud Megilah 28b)

Halachos for Erev Sukkos
1) It is customary to decorate the Sukkah with nice fruits- especially of the Shivas HaMinim variety-, nuts, olive oil, grape leaves and wines. (See Rashi to Sukkah 10a Dibur Hamaschil Yaynos U'shmanim.  Some have the custom to use the olive oil that hung in the Sukkah for the Chanukah Menorah as to use something that was used for a Mitzvah and use it for an additional Mitzvah. See Mishna Berura Siman 673:27. )
It is also a proper custom to hang beautiful curtains, decorations and other nice things in the Sukkah. The purpose of hanging all these things is to bring those sitting in the Sukkah to a state of happiness. (See Mishna Berura Siman 638:11, Elef HaMagen Siman 625:38 and Sefer Seder HaYom Seder Mitzvas Sukkah, page 171. See also Igros Moshe Orach Chaim Vol. 5 Siman 39:6 and 40:4 for more on the topic of decorating the Sukkah)

2) Many have the custom to hang pictures of Gedolei Yisroel, Torah leaders, past and present, to adorn their Sukkah. (Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld Zatzal, the Rav of Yerushalayim maintained that this is due to "Teishvu K'Ein Taduru, to make your Sukkah feel like your home" and most people have portraits of Gedolim hanging in their home. The Steipler Zatzal had many Gedolim pictures hanging in his Sukkah (including portraits of Rav Chaim Brisker, his son the Brisker Rav, the Chazon Ish, Rav Chaim Ozer Grodzensky and Rav Elchonon Wasserman Zichronam L'Vracha (As is documented in Orchos Rabbeinu Vol. 2 page 221 and Vol. 5 page 117) as does YBL"CT Maran Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv shlita in his Sukkah.)  
 
Halachos for First day of Sukkos

1) It is proper to keep the tables in the Sukkah covered with a nice tablecloth for the duration of the Yom Tov and Chol HaMoed. (Kaf HaChaim Siman 639:11)
Each night of Sukkos, every Jewish household merits having one of the seven pillars of Klal Yisroel, the seven shepherds of Israel, visit their Sukkah.

They are referred to as the "Ushpizin" or guests, and  are [the souls of] Avraham Avinu  , Yitzchak Avinu, Yaakov Avinu, Moshe Rabbeinu, Aharon HaKohen,  Dovid Hamelech and Yosef Hatzaddik.
These seven spiritual giants leave their eternal resting places in Gan Eden and pay a visit to the Sukkos of each and every Jew to partake of the intense spirituality that is present in each and every Sukkah (Based on the Zohar Hakadosh Parshas Emor)
2) Some people have a custom to light a special candle each night in honor of that night's Ushpizin (besides for Shabbos and Yom Tov, where the regular candles suffice).
Some even have the custom, while lighting this candle, to say "I am lighting this candle in honor of Avraham Avinu" on the first night, "in honor of Yitzchak Avinu" on the second night and so on for  each night of Sukkos.
Some have the custom to light seven candles each night. (Kaf HaChaim 639:9 and 625:16. See also Yesod V'Shoresh H'Avodah Sha'ar 11:14)
 
Halachos for Second Day of Sukkos
 
1) Some have the custom to place a special chair covered with a nice piece of material in the Sukkah in honor of the Ushpizin. (Similar to the chair set up at every Bris in honor of Eliyahu Hanavi). Some even have the custom to put holy Sefarim on this chair.
(See Chida in Sefer Moreh Etzba Siman 9:289 where he brings this custom, and quotes the Zohar that if this chair isn't set up, the Ushpizin will not come. See also Kaf HaChaim 639:8)
 
2) It is customary to "invite" the Ushpizin into the Sukkah each night, reciting a special text which is printed in most siddurim.
Some people stand near the door to the Sukkah when reciting it, however the prevalent minhag is to say it while sitting at the table. (See Chida ibid., Kaf HaChaim 639:8 and Ben Ish Chai Parsha Ha'azinu Siman 7)

Some people only say this "invitation" text on the first night and it suffices for the entire Yom Tov. (This was the custom of Rav Shlomo Zalmen Auerbach Zatzal, quoted in Sefer Shalmei Moed Perek 28)
 
 
 
GOOD SHABBOS & CHAG SAMEACH!

דברים טז:יד-יז 
וְשָׂמַחְתָּ בְּחַגֶּךָ אַתָּה וּבִנְךָ וּבִתֶּךָ וְעַבְדְּךָ וַאֲמָתֶךָ וְהַלֵּוִי וְהַגֵּר וְהַיָּת֥וֹם וְהָאַלְמָנָה אֲשֶׁר בִּשְׁעָרֶיךָ: טו שִׁבְעַת יָמִים תָּחֹג לַיהוֹה אֱלֹהֶיךָ בַּמָּק֖וֹם אֲשֶׁר־יִבְחַר יְהוֹה כִּי יְבָרֶכְךָ יְהוֹה אֱלֹהֶיךָ בְּכָל־תְּבוּאָֽתְךָ וּבְכֹל מַעֲשֵׂה יָדֶיךָ וְהָיִיתָ אַךְ שָׂמֵחַ: טז שָׁלוֹשׁ פְּעָמִים ׀ בַּשָּׁנָה יֵרָאֶה כָל־זְכֽוּרְךָ אֶת־פְּנֵי ׀ יְהוֹה אֱלֹהֶיךָ בַּמָּקוֹם אֲשֶׁר יִבְחָר בְּחַג הַמַּצּוֹת וּבְחַג הַשָּֽׁבֻעוֹת וּבְחַג הַסֻּכּוֹת וְלֹא יֵֽרָאֶה אֶת־פְּנֵי יְהוֹה רֵיקָם
14. And you shall rejoice in your feast, you, and your son, and your daughter, and your manservant, and your maidservant, and the Levite, the stranger, and the orphan, and the widow, who are inside your gates.
15. Seven days shall you keep a solemn feast to the Lord your God in the place which the Lord shall choose; because the Lord your God shall bless you in all your produce, and in all the works of your hands, therefore you shall surely rejoice.
16. Three times in a year shall all your males appear before the Lord your God in the place which he shall choose; in the Feast of Unleavened Bread, and in the Feast of Weeks, and in the Feast of Booths; and they shall not appear before the Lord empty;
Lets us all be mispallel to Hashem that we can reach this level this sukkos. May we all be zoche to go up and appear before Hashem in Yerushalim Eir Hakodesh to Hashem Home. AMEN!!!


Things to think/say/feel as we sit in the Succah
  • Hashem is protecting us
  • Hashem is feeding us
  • I'm not affraid because of You Hashem
  • Hashem I trust in You
  • Hashem is with us
  • I believe in You Hashem
  • I am happy Hashem because of You 
  • Thank You Hashem
  • I love You Hashem
  • Lets us all be mispallel to Hashem that we can reach this level this sukkos. May we all be zoche to go up and appear before Hashem in Yerushalim Eir Hakodesh to Hashem Home. AMEN!!!

Please , if you have a story, comments, or any chizuk, during this month please email it to info@divreichizuk.com  with the words ok to post.
Tizku L'mitzvos